I wanna just vent.. My life is shit. Im a bad mother. I make sure my kids are fed and well taken care of but I feel like I dont in as much effort as I should to make them happier. I cant hold a job for shit. All my jobs have been seasonal and they always let me go when the season is over. It sucks to have so much hope and then its blown away in a instant.
Im fucking 20 years old and still have never knew what it felt like to pay any other bill beside my phone bill and daycare bill. This is not how i pictured my life. I still dont have my high school diploma. I have no motivation, no confidence, no nothing. My husband left me, and to be honest, i would leave my ass too. No scratch that, if I told someone Im going to spend the rest of my life with them and grow old with them, I mean it. Im going to ride or die. Through sickness and health till death do us part. So fuck him. I wish him the best when he gets deployed to Afghanistan in a couple weeks.
Im tired of people telling me about myself. Ive realized I grown to be a bum. I just wonder when it will hit me that I need to buck the fuck up.
/vent
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