Ever feel..... Cursed??

I dont belive in curses, or bad/good luck, but damn. Ive noticed that if I get super excited about something, I dont want to brag about it, fearing that things will change and I will end up looking stupid in the end. Like, I want to start talking about my "potential boo" but I dont want to fully invest my feeling, because then he'll realize Im not all what I was cracked up to be and lose interest, and leave me hanging like my ex hubby did. Ugh, having low confidence SUCKS.

And Im also mad at myself because I didnt work out yesterday. SMH! Its only 2 o'clock, but Im working out at 4, and then again later on tonite... Hopefully. But here is an updateeeeee. I took these on the 29th

Sooo, just felt like sharing that. Today has been sooo gloomy and wet. I havent seen the sun since 2 days ago. Come back sun. Rain, go away.

-out-

Just blogging. I know, i have no sense of humor.

I wish I could learn to take constructive criticism..Or any kind of criticism. My social life has gone to hell lately.. Well, for a while. Everyone has noticed but doesnt know how to approach me. i have sooooo much built up inside of me. I have talked about it to my sister, I vented about it on here. Its doesnt seem like enough. Maybe its because Im not really applying myself or making the effort. I really need to start going to school regularly, and doing shit that Im suppose to do. All I do is sit in the house... Or sometimes (well, often) take the kids outside to play. blahhhh.

I have started exercising regularly for the past 5 days, which Im soooo proud of mahself :)

Here are my "Before" pics

Im only trying to get toned for the summer. Im going to post some Update pics prolley sunday :)

In other new, Mike is getting released next monday. i neeeeeed him. Well, Im about to go workout. Peace.

p.s: Newer post wont be this boring. LOL, its 11:43 pm, and Im tired. Im ready to K.O.

Baby Im a G, yeah thats right the seventh letter.

It felt good to vent yesterday. But hey, Im my biggest critic, what can I say?? I really needed to get that out, so its all good. Ill just start my blog from there.

My day:

I pulled an all-nighter last night. Bad idea. Just like the last time I did it.. And the time before that... And the time before that and the time before that. Smh, when will I learn?? So I left early from home and caught some Z's at my mama house. She was making breakfast by the time I woke up :D. After I ate, I walked to school. School was okay. Afterwards, I walked back to my mom's house and talked to her for a lil bit. Her crazy arse. But I love her. I know she truly wants the best for me. After I left, i got somethin to eat and came home, and here I am!!

I need to get started on my homework soon, so Im about to wrap this up in a lil momento. Plus guess whats almost ready?? Dinnahhh!! It smells soo good. Ribs, mac n cheese, veggies, and cheese cake for dessert. Can't wait to murder it :). To finish this up, I jus wanna say, I prayed last night and I really feel like God hears me. I know in my heart things will get better. I know Im going to have a job soon. I feel it in my heart :). And Im missing my lil ones like crazyyyyyyyyy :(

Mommy loves you guys! Cant wait to see them tomorrow :D

-out-

I just wanna blog...

I wanna just vent.. My life is shit. Im a bad mother. I make sure my kids are fed and well taken care of but I feel like I dont in as much effort as I should to make them happier. I cant hold a job for shit. All my jobs have been seasonal and they always let me go when the season is over. It sucks to have so much hope and then its blown away in a instant.

Im fucking 20 years old and still have never knew what it felt like to pay any other bill beside my phone bill and daycare bill. This is not how i pictured my life. I still dont have my high school diploma. I have no motivation, no confidence, no nothing. My husband left me, and to be honest, i would leave my ass too. No scratch that, if I told someone Im going to spend the rest of my life with them and grow old with them, I mean it. Im going to ride or die. Through sickness and health till death do us part. So fuck him. I wish him the best when he gets deployed to Afghanistan in a couple weeks.

Im tired of people telling me about myself. Ive realized I grown to be a bum. I just wonder when it will hit me that I need to buck the fuck up.

/vent